Friends, I’m struggling. I know that I’ve been lighthearted about this in the past, but I’m starting to realize that I have a real issue on my hands.
Normally, if I remove something from my life, I have no problem staying away from it. Now, food can’t possibly count of course – it’s not exactly something you can remove from your life and continue living. But outside of food I’ve been generally successful.
For example, smoking. I didn’t smoke for very long – just through college – so I know it might have been more difficult to quit had I been smoking for many years. I remember the first few days at college, how I could instantly tell who the big kids were. The cool kids. They were the ones who would huddle together outside between classes, obscured by an ever-present cloud of smoke. Smoking was where it was at, so I picked it up and yes, I did make lots of friends during those smoke breaks. When I left college, I quit smoking. End of story. No trouble.
I am usually very good about being disciplined on other matters as well. I’m up at the same time every morning without using an alarm clock.
Okay, that’s the only other thing I can think of being disciplined with. Give me time to come up with more.
The point of all of this is: I’m struggling now. With my Starbucks resolution.
Have I managed to keep it so far? Yes! I haven’t purchased a single cup of coffee yet (in fact, it’s been since before Christmas!) from Starbucks, Dunkin’ Donuts, McDonald’s…anywhere. I’m really proud of that, because I walk right past many opportunities to give in every morning. It would be so easy to give in and take my place in line.
I have to ask myself the real reason behind my problem with these places. I mean, it’s coffee, right? Coffee is coffee is coffee when you get right down to it. If I need it so badly, I can make a free cup at work. No biggie.
But it’s clearly more than that. For one thing, it plays into my penchant for instant gratification. I want it? There it is. I’m gonna get it. It’s a just another thing for me to waste money on. It’s something to break up the monotony of the morning, a treat which has turned into an expensive habit.
Another underlying issue is, I believe, the fact that overpriced coffee has become somewhat of a status symbol. Hasn’t it in some way? The fact that you can afford to walk around with an overpriced cup of coffee in your hands says something about you. I wanted to be one of the Starbucks sippers on the train. I still do. And I just made the connection between this and my college smoking – I want to be one of the cool kids. When will I ever learn that I will never be cool?
Plus…it’s yummy. I’m a food addict as it is – maybe I should change that to “yummy addict”.
Regardless of the “why”, some days are most definitely easier than others. Today was not an easy day at all – but I kept on walking. Maybe the fact that I can stay strong and stay away from what’s really just a money waster can serve as inspiration in quitting some poor eating habits as well. I’m finding that I’m way better at disciplining myself than I thought I was – it may suck at the moment, but it’s not the end of the world. I’m learning.
One day at a time, right?
Have you ever had to quit something? What’s your story? Do you have any advice?