As a follow-up to last week’s post on being a “good enough” blogger, I’ve decided to take it easier on myself.

There was a time when I would spend all day Saturday or Sunday (or both) on my netbook, catching up with my friends, visiting fellow participants from the numerous memes I participate in throughout the week, and tweetingtweetingtweeting.

Does this sound familiar? Have you looked back at a weekend on Sunday night and realized to your chagrin that most of it was spent in front of a computer screen?

Isn’t that the most depressing thing?

This past weekend I commanded myself to stay away from my online life as much as possible.  I willed myself to read something other than blogs.  I cooked (of course I took pictures as I went along), I slept in, caught up on the DVR, watched a movie.  A whole movie.  Without the netbook on my lap.  And I didn’t die.  Neither did the internet.

I wish I could say I felt no guilt while I did this.  But the guilt was there.  I should have been writing, should have been commenting, should have been tweeting so as to keep my Klout score from getting any lower than it already is (look up the word “nosedive” in the dictionary and you’ll see my Klout score).  That nagging voice went on an endless loop all weekend.  Seriously.  It’s not easy to enjoy relaxing when your conscience won’t let you do it.

Still, I managed to not give in because, frankly, I was tired.  And tired has a tendency to win after you’ve ignored it long enough.  You can only ignore your well-being for so long before your body reminds you who the boss is.

Maybe it’s burnout.  Maybe it’s a real, deep-seeded need to live a life without being chained to my computer.  I don’t know.  Normally by Monday morning I feel as though I have my groove back, to a degree.  But I’m writing this post today and I’m still lacking the get-up-and-go.

I haven’t been feeling well lately – seems like every day, on and off, I have sore throats and headaches and that genuine feeling of “Uh-oh, I’m getting sick”.  The feeling always seems to go away, which is weird, but what doesn’t go away is a general feeling of blah.

Unlike times past when I’ve been unwell, I’m not going to step away entirely.  I’m going to stick with it.  But I can’t be everything to everyone.  I can only take care of me sometimes.

It’s one thing to say you’re going to do your best and that’ll be enough, but when you’re used to driving yourself to work harder, it’s not easy to step back permanently and let things fall where they will.  But I’m trying.  I’m doing the best I can.

Maybe my best really does have to be enough.

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  37 Responses to “Be Enough Me: Doing My Best”

  1. Oh Jeni – I can so relate! Only, instead of the weekend being my computer marathon, it’s during the week while the kids are at school. I blink and it’s time for them to get off the bus and I have done none of the housework or been to the grocery store. It is hard to find balance. Make a schedule – for all parts of your life – so that you don’t miss out on anything. It’s okay to schedule computer time, but balance it with family time. And as far as the general “blah” feeling, that could be a lack of sleep. That is usually what does it for me, when I burn the candle at both ends. Perhaps you need to schedule sleep? Great post – and I think you are awesome.

    • Thank you for your kindness!

      Trust me, I never stay up later than I need to. I go to bed shockingly early compared to many people I know – 11:00 has been my latest weeknight time, normally closer to 10. I’m just not sleeping well when I’m in bed. But that’s improving now that I’m consistently eating well/losing weight. Yay! :)

      You’re so right, I need to schedule somehow. I set a challenge for myself to do so, but…I got distracted… ;)

  2. I *always* allow myself to have a day or two off a week. Usually Wednesdays and Sundays, since those are my days off from work. I’ll occasionally post on those days, but usually, I reserve those few sacred days to myself, my husband, and my family. Sometimes I feel guilty about not being a 7-day-a-week blogger. I started out that way. But I had to keep reminding myself to keep living life! Otherwise I won’t have anything funny to write about! LOL

  3. Your best IS enough. I think that if we don’t nurture ourselves, we end up in a bad place, which isn’t good for our blogging health or (much more importantly) our actual health.

    Feel better :)

  4. I think our motto should be “More movies, less guilt”

  5. I can definitely relate to this. I’ve been wanting to step away more from my online world for at least 2 weeks, and here and there, I’ve managed to do that, but still not as much as I’d like to. It’s just the pull of oh I’ll just write one more post, or read one more blog, or just check the Twitter to see what’s up. I am happy to say I’ve managed to stay off Twitter a lot more the past few days and boy does it feel good. It IS enough, for now. Slow and steady.

    • I do miss seeing you so much but it’s for the best, I know. You are such a powerhouse, I can’t imagine the time you must dedicate to online doings!!

  6. Last week I did not do a lot of writing, but I did the best I could. I got a few thoughts out there. Sometimes there just aren’t any thoughts, other times there just isn’t time :)

  7. It’s hard sometimes to know what your best is. Am I really doing my best? I think I’m doing my best. Should I be doing more? It’s crazy. And what the heck is a klout score anyway? Do I even want to know? Hope you feel better soon.

    • Ha! Klout is the sum total of your influence/network/reach throughout all the social networks you take part in. Goes from 1-100. I was riding high for a while – I think the best I leveled out at was around 68 or 69. Then as soon as I started taking time away from Twitter it fell. I just can’t bring myself to care as much as I used to – because tweeting nonstop just for the sake of registering a better score defeats the purpose.

  8. I started out blogging seven days a week and held that pace for eight months. This is my first year of blogging and with so much to learn on top of posting it has been a challenge. Beginning in September I have given myself permission to take a couple of days off. I am now posting five days a week and I find that more manageable.

    • Good for you! Wow – that’s a LOT of blogging! I can only imagine how much time that took up. I’m so glad you’re taking it easier on yourself now.

  9. I can so relate but I think your enough is right :) We need to shake the guilt. With my one month break coming to an end I know my blogging will suffer again. Keep on keeping on and you are doing enough for yourself.

  10. I’ve been pulling back from being online too. And you know what? It does feel good! Sure, I feel guilt at times, but it seems to be going away. Our Klout scores, blog statistics, and comments won’t matter. What DOES matter is us. WE have to come first.

    • Yes. We are not our blogs, our worth is not determined by our blogging. At least that’s what I need to keep telling myself.

  11. Good for you, Mrs. B! I think at the end of the day, what’s most important is for us to realize that as much as we love our blogs and our online friendships, we also have our family life. Leaving, breathing people around us who deserves our time and attention.

    For me, it would always be a constant battle of trying to keep a balance between my ‘real’ life and my ‘online’ life. I know I wouldn’t be happy if I have to give up one for the other completely, but at the same time I have to keep my eyes open so that one does not jeopardize the other.

    I hope you feel healthier soon! Indeed it is ‘that’ time of the year… the changing seasons always brought along nasty bugs and ailments! All around me, people are having the flu, cold, sore throat, etc. Take care, dearie, and rest up! We will all be here when you come back! :)

  12. So glad I found your post. I can totally relate. I started blogging as an outlet for battling my depression and anxiety. It turns out that I’m a much better blogger in the winter because it’s cold, gray and rainy in Seattle and I have nothing else I’d rather be doing. Plus I’m more depressed then, so my posts are “more powerful”. Recently I realized I hadn’t written a post in over a month because the weather was warm and wonderful. So I had to ask myself if I was willing to blog when it felt right to me, even if it means that my Klout or my readership may never grow to enormous numbers. I’m still thinking on that…but I think I know the answer.

    • Yes, it sounds like you already know the answer – and it’s the right one, I’m sure. Clearly it serves a purpose for you, and that’s great. Good for you!

  13. this is perfect…mostly because it’s a motto I have taken on lately, I try to stay far away from my computer and my phone over the weekends. I am trying to really give myself a break with all of it, less guilt. It’s not really working, but I am trying. Always trying and that is ENOUGH, just like you are ALWAYS ENOUGH my friend. xo

    • Thank you, my dear. You are the most supportive blogger I know – well, you and Alison. Your bigger priority, just my two cents, is watching those beautiful boys grow. You need to give yourself a break from all the nonsense inside the computer. Your presence, reputation and sincere core group of followers will be here regardless.

  14. Doing your best is more than enough! And so are you. I’m sorry you’re feeling blah. Take care of yourself and continue to surround yourself with people, things and activities that you love.

  15. I take almost all weekend off every weekend. Just edit my post for Monday, do a little reading Sunday night. It’s what keeps it all in perspective for me and i’m glad I do it that way.

    I hope you feel better soon!

    • You definitely have a great schedule for yourself. I need to get away from the “I’ll use the weekend to catch up” mentality, because all I end up doing is resenting the whole blogging “thing”. Which is no good for anyone.

      Thank you for your sweet words!

  16. I say, doing your best is what really counts. The rest can wait for later.

  17. I think many can relate to your post here. I, myself will only commit to a post a week on my personal blog… because any more than that and it is just TOO much. Too much for me. Too much for my family. Too much. The grass it always greener on the other side though… because when I’m not blogging a lot I’m usually wanting to have more time to blog, and when I am blogging too much I usually am wanting more time with my family. Ugh! The only way to win is the find that balance, that happy medium. And that is not and easy thing to do.

    Good Luck. Feel better. Help yourself and your family first. Your blog will always be there. Who cares about Klout? Right?? ;)

  18. I so need to take a page out of your book!

  19. Yes you are so right. Your best just has to be enough because this whole blogging thing is supposed to be fun. Otherwise there’s no point, right?

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