Warning: Weird, drug-laced, tired post ahead. But I miss you guys and didn’t want to stay away anymore!
Hello, my friends. It’s been too long!
I wish I could say I have a million exciting and interesting things to tell you, but right now I’m feeling kinda low.
I’ve been getting poked and prodded this week and it turns out I’ve been walking around with an “impressive” cyst inside me for a while. Of course it’s on the side of my body where my UC resides so how I was I supposed to know? Sigh. So pain is the name of the game right now. Pain and vicodin.
(Sidebar – can we discuss the utter discomfort and misery of an ultrasound? It’s one thing to walk around ready to wet your pants when you’re pregnant. It’s another when they’re just randomly pressing on your full bladder when you’re already in pain.)
But I’m still working, and writing, and trying to keep the positive and grateful mindset which I was working so hard to cultivate.
Oh, did I tell you we’re planning a trip to Disney in September? To say we’re looking forward to it is a mild understatement. To say that I spend most days in the office listening to the background music which is played at the Polynesian Resort is pretty much a solid fact.
I spent a few weeks following the GAPS protocol, as I told y’all about, but became disenchanted with all the meat and dairy I needed to consume. It left me feeling completely gross and sluggish – and reading about meat and dairy’s affects on the body didn’t help either.
So I shifted to more of a plant-based, still low-sugar, low-grain diet. Lots of green smoothies and juices. And that backfired. Who knew you couldn’t live on raw veggies when you have IBD? #slapsforehead
Balance is the name of the game, and something I need to strike. Of course I hardly have an appetite right now so it’s sort of a non-issue at the moment. Trying to stay low-fiber since I’m a big old mess.
Appointment with GI tomorrow. Medicine is clearly not doing what it should to keep me under control. I just love the whole “hit or miss” quality of my medical treatment thusfar. But it’s a reminder, I guess, that a lot of medicine is just that: Finding what works by trial and error.
I’m losing weight, though. So there’s a silver lining through everything.
Father’s Day is coming up of course and that’s difficult. I thought last year was hard because I’d expected to be able to give Rob a gift when the day came around, but we’d already had the loss. So that was a mess. Now it’s a whole other ballgame. I guess this could serve as a reminder that just when you think life can’t change you any more than it has…it can. And I know that sounds morbid in a way but that’s sorta where I am right now.
So, clearly it’s time to think about things to be grateful for:
My friends, who I miss.
My family, who I love.
My employers, who are very nice to me.
The ability to even plan a vacation, and the family support which is allowing us to get away in the first place.
Tell me, then: What’s new with YOU?