Be Enough Me: In My 33rd Year


 

Every MONDAY join us
Write, Post, Link-Up, share your story and your voice.
Be part of carrying the weight of confidence, empowerment and share our mission to empower, inspire, and remind
women, parents and children
that the time has come to celebrate ourselves!

How you have lived the Be Enough Me feeling this week?

There are certain events which can make a person stop and reevaluate things.  For example, I always get all sentimental-then-analytical around New Years Eve.  What did I do this year? What will I do next year? Where does the time go, etc etc.

Another such event is my birthday.  I always, always get all thinky around it.

Incidentally, this past Saturday was my 32nd birthday.

When I was a kid, where did I think I was going to be by the time 32 rolled around?

I’m sure I thought I’d be married with a kid or two (or three) by now.  Depending on how old I was when the fantasy was conjured up, I was either a teacher or actress or singer.  I’d be living “the good life”, of course.  Realizing my dreams.  Embracing my passions.  Traveling, seeing the world and all its wonders, big and small.

Where am I actually? Married.  I managed that (and successfully, I might add).  Living in a house which isn’t my own but sometimes feels as though it may as well be.  Working at a job for a number of years which pays the bills but doesn’t so much for my soul.  And, of course, blogging, with all it entails.

This is not a bad life, of course.  I know how lucky I am.  It’s not perfect but then, what is?

Still.  I feel as though there’s so much I can do for myself in my 33rd year.

I can start embracing my passions more wholeheartedly.  Stop apologizing for what I need in order to create the life I want to live.  If that means putting money out every month for shake powder to keep my UC in check without taking pills, or buying flowers and landscaping materials in order to put the garden of my dreams together – so be it.  No one benefits from me denying myself.

Speaking of denying myself, I absolutely have to stop putting myself down so much.  I know I’ve been preaching self-acceptance, but I guess that’s easier said than done.  Do as I say, not as I do.  The fact is, I know I’d feel better about myself if I’d spend a little more time putting outfits together.  Buying some accessories here and there won’t break my bank account – and it’ll make me feel more put-together.  Size doesn’t matter.  Lots of bigger women dress well and look beautiful.  I can do the same.

But the thing is, I put myself down before I even start.  I don’t even buy the nicer, pretty things I see because I tell myself I couldn’t pull them off in the first place.  So not only do I not get to wear the pretty things I see, I feel even worse about myself after the negative self-talk.

All of my dreams are attainable.  I need to do myself the favor of believing in myself and my talents.  It’s the best gift I can give myself this year.

Do birthdays and other milestones make you think this way? What do you want to give yourself starting today?

 

26 Comments

I definitely re-evaluate things on my birthday–much more so than New Year’s. After all, it’s our very own New Year’s :-). Good for you to try not to put yourself down! You are fabulous–just accept it!

Reply
Mrs. Jen B

That’s a good way to think about it – our very own New Year’s. 🙂 Thank you for your kindness.

Reply

Oh Mrs.B, let me tell you first of all that you are a wonderful, dedicated, and kind-hearted woman. The way you’ve taken care of your father-in-law, the sacrifices you’ve made for your family, and the level of patience you’ve shown to ‘some’ people (wink, wink)… that’s one in a million!

THAT is what no kid ever imagine doing, because Lord knows we always dream of fairy tale happy endings as kids, and then when life doesn’t turn out the way we imagined them to be, we became disappointed with our lives and with ourselves.

But you, you’ve stuck it out, you carried these responsibilities day in and day out! While you may not look as put-together as you’d like, or that the only place you’ve been traveling is to your in-laws’ instead of traveling the world over, you’ve actually accomplished so much more as a person–character wise–than most people. You need to acknowledge yourself more, girl :)!!

Once in a while though, as you said, a little bit of shopping and puttin’ on some make-up, a relaxing date with your husband… would do a whole lotta good for you. We all need a reminder now and then that underneath the ‘mom’ still lies a beautiful girl who’s passionate about life and love 🙂

Reply
Mrs. Jen B

I am completely bowled over by your kindness. And your “wink, wink”. 😉 I guess no one thinks of things this way themselves – they need someone else to show them what they’ve missed. Thank you so much for this. I wish words could adequately express how much this means to me.

Reply

I think it’s great that you’re evaluating things on your birthday. Birthdays for me is less about celebration, and more about personal milestones (where I am now as opposed to last year). Your goal to be less apologetic for your passions is absolutely okay and realistic and I say go for it girl.

Reply

First of all HAPPY belated BIRTHDAY! I absolutely can not wait to read about what your 33rd year brings you. You are so very reflective and seem to be coming more in tune with how you talk to yourself. I can’t wait to read and follow your journey! -Laverne

Reply
Mrs. Jen B

You are such a sweet and supportive friend – I’m so glad to be getting to know you (and to be working with you!). Your kind words always bring a smile. Thank you so much!!!!

Reply

First of all, yay for your birthday week 🙂

Secondly, I feel like it is so hard to buy new things sometimes. Then I feel even worse, and it’s a vicious cycle.

Through reflecting on my posts and reading all of your amazing words, I hope for all of us that we can learn to be as kind to ourselves as we are to each other.

xoxo

Reply
Mrs. Jen B

“as kind to ourselves as we are to each other” -> YES. You always find a way to put what I really mean into beautiful words. Thank you. You’re so right, and I hope the same thing for sure.

Reply

happy birthday to you, and i get that same sort of thinky/reflective around times like that. Im glad you are aware of being hard on yourself, and that you want to consciously improve that. YOU are enough. Just like you are. But I love your drive to think and do and create and be more .,. for you.

Reply
Mrs. Jen B

Thank you so much – I’m glad you see where I’m coming from. I hope we BOTH learn to be kinder to ourselves, day by day. 🙂

Reply

I used to be introspective 10 years back when 42 rolled by..but now I enjoy each moment as it comes and don’t expect more from what I have now. Have a wonderful year ahead.

Reply
Mrs. Jen B

I hope that I get to that point myself, I really do. I’m working for it! 🙂 Thank you for your wisdom.

Reply

I do that more around New Year’s than my birthday (although they’re only 10 days apart, so…). I’ve recently embraced doing things for myself and creating the lifestyle I want, whether that’s style or flowers. It’s so much nicer 🙂

I see you moving very purposefully toward being that person you want to be more often than not. You’ve got it in you!

Reply
Mrs. Jen B

YES! Let’s create the world we want. I tell myself that on a many-times-a-day basis, and yet I keep forgetting somehow. Thank you for the encouragement – I need it. 🙂

Reply

Oh Jen— this is tremendous. And you absolutely deserve to give yourself this gift. I love how you said that no one benefits from you denying yourself. So much love to you!!

Reply

hi you! you know what? 33 for me was a BIG YEAR, I got married, I tried to start getting Pregnant, I learned a lot about me. I hope you do too.
I want to tell you that it’s going to be amazing , just like you. I need to tell you that this year can be anything you want it to, because you have it all within you to be more than you could ever imagine.
I love the girl inside you, that heart that is bigger than the world, the smile that brightens my day when I see it in my feeds, those words that give me the giggles or make me hungry or just smile.

I like how our birthdays remind us of New Year’s , a new chance to start over. WISHING YOU so many amazing things this year my friend. xo

Reply
Mrs. Jen B

You stagger me. Seriously. Thank you so much for this. I’m honored to have such a lovely and supportive person in my corner. And ps? Your heart is pretty dang enormous too. 🙂

Reply
Mrs. Jen B

Thank you! I’m gonna try. Might need to remind myself every single day… 😉

Reply

Yes, yes, yes. First of the year, my birthday and back to school time – those are my 3 big reflective times of year. Plus I often do house purges around those times too – get rid of some of my junk – literally and emotionally!

Reply
Mrs. Jen B

I need to both literally and emotionally get rid of junk, too. Everything needs to be streamlined. I think we should all make a habit of it! 🙂

Reply

You’re a great person! Start buying all those pretty things that you see! You’ll love them, love wearing them, and most of all they’ll give you the boost that you need!

Reply
Mrs. Jen B

You’re so right – wearing something pretty DOES boost a girl up, doesn’t it? 🙂 And thank you.

Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *